In case you didn’t get or see my email this morning…I am posting the same message as my blog. Thank you for being a friend!
Bold without shame. This word has served me well this year. As I reflect on the year, I realize God gave me this word for a good reason. I have had to overcome many fears, doubt and worry about what others would think of me, to enter into a place of peace, trust and joy as He blessed me to share my story with others in such a way that shines the light on Christ and what He did for me.
I heard this saying a few years ago and it stuck out to me. “Not to impress you, but to press upon you” That is my goal every time I write a message, post my blog, stand before a group of people and share my ugly past as a way to glorify God for where I am today. Don’t look to me, look to the Masterful Creator of all things.
Is the enemy spoon feeding you lies? Don’t digest it. Spit it out. I would encourage you to let God’s word sink deep down into your heart. Let this be the year you believe in a greater purpose for your life. If God can use someone has broken as me, He can use you too.
God uses my weaknesses and gives me the strength to be obedient to what He is calling me to do. Nothing is impossible with God. We can rely on Him and trust Him with the outcome. It is easy to say, ‘I can’t’ but we aren’t to live that kind of life when it is God calling us out to do His work By ourselves we can’t but with Him we can make the next step putting our faith in the One who is asking us to.
I hope you will ask God what word He wants you to focus on in the upcoming year, pray about it and focus on it in the light of His redeeming love. Take the next step on the journey to Christ and live a life of adventure with Him by your side. You won’t regret it. Put the enemy behind you and boldly go where Christ is leading.
John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light. John 1:8
Even
when others don’t know what we are going through, a dog is always there to
comfort us. They listen and seem to understand when no one else does. They are
known for their faithfulness, loyalty, obedience and are anxious to serve.
In
the grand design of things, I believe God must have created dogs for human
companionship and they seem to show up in our lives when we need them most. We
can mask our feelings to others, but not to our dogs. They sense when something
is wrong and offer a loving nudge with the nose and are always willing to
snuggle, well almost always.
When
my son was going through a rough period in his life, he decided to get a dog to
keep him company. It wasn’t long that I started to notice how much the dog resembled
the same behaviors as my son. Either he got the perfect dog – personality wise
or the dog adapted to her owner.
As
he has grown, and his anxieties improved- likewise she has come out of a lot of
her own nervousness. Granted when they moved in with me and I started sharing
caretaking duties, she began to adapt to my personality at least partially.
All
I know is that she came into his life when he needed her most. They have been
good for each other. She is so smart, loving and gentle with everyone. What a
sweetheart and delight to have around.
Likewise,
my sister adopted a little dog at a time in her life when they were both
looking for their way in a sense. Abundance, “Bundy” for short, was full of
energy and a free spirit at heart. She did not want to be restrained to any
limitations- not even the 140-acre farm in which she had free range, most of
the time. She would still get a wild hair and take off up the road to ‘visit’
the neighbors or maybe just see the world. Could be that she just went to say
she went because she could. People often reported seeing her in the road, on
her hind legs, begging with her little front paws in the air. What a sight. She
was one adorable little doggie.
At
this time, my sister travelled regularly, (like a free spirit) and had a sense
of freedom that she hadn’t experienced in a while. When she would go on trips,
if I wasn’t tagging along, I would keep Bundy for her at my house in the
suburbs. I walked her on a leash and kept her in the house with me.
It
was also at a time in my life where I was finding my own way and enjoyed her company.
I guess you could say she had two foster moms. I was trying to redefine who I
was as a person and believe I was allowed this time with her for a reason. She
showed me there is a different way other than following another person and
being controlled by them. She was certainly not doing either one of those.
As my sister began traveling more frequently and I was settling into my new life, we had the conversation about me taking her full time. I know she didn’t like the leash and the confinement of the suburbs as much as the farm where she had freedom to roam, but I hoped she would adapt and enjoy my company as much as I enjoyed hers.
Before
we could make the transition, this little individualist made her way back up
the hill to the road and was hit by a car. My first thought was that if I had
taken her, she wouldn’t have been hit, but in my heart, I know she was doing
exactly what she wanted to do. She had served her purpose for more than one
person in her short life- and no telling how many others before us.
I
am grateful for the time I had with Bundy and for the lessons she taught me. I
know in my heart when and if I personally need another furry companion in my
life, God will provide it at just the right time.
For
now, I enjoy the long walks I share with my son and grand-dog, Alley.
Is
your relationship with Christ dependent on your current circumstances? Do you
only go to Him when you’ve reached your breaking point and exhausted all your
other options or are you a fair weather friend who praises Him when things are
good but as soon as a shift occurs and the tide turns to rough seas you turn
your back on Him?
Our
relationship with God should be that of a Father and child. He’s the same
yesterday, today and forever. Our relationship should be too. When we learn how
to praise Him through the dark times and thank Him for the lessons, we will
start to feel the closeness of our Father. He wants to experience the bad and
the good, the sad times and the joyful times; with Him by our side.
It
is through the tests and trials that our character is formed. How we handle our
reactions to the bad things in life is a good indicator for where our heart is.
The more we put our trust in Him through all circumstances, the closer our
relationship will be. He always wants the best for us and delights in His
little children coming to Him in thanksgiving and praise but also for respite and
rest under the shelter of His great wing.
In
my daily devotional this morning from Jesus Calling, this line stood out to me:
“It is impossible to spend too much time thanking and praising Me.
This
is so true. How many times day do you thank Him? It should be more than you can
count, especially through the hardest days in the middle of the storm. That
is how we keep Him close and rely on Him for strength.
Dear
brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an
opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your
endurance has a chance to grow. So, let it grow, for when your endurance is
fully developed, you will be perfect and complete., needing nothing. James 1:2-4
I cried all morning, but wasn’t sure why. I took them to God in my quiet time of rest, seeking answers, finding peace again but still uncertain why I was crying. My heart just felt extra tender today.
Then as I finished I saw an alert on my phone telling me that my credit card had just been used in London to purchase train tickets. I was immediately able to block my card just before two other attempts, so there was only one charge that got through.
I was instructed to call my bank immediately, so I did. I hung up with a new sense of gratefulness for the quick response of my bank and being told I would not be responsible for the charge. In tears again, but I knew why this time, for God’s protection. So I thought it only fitting to post this poem God put on my heart a few weeks ago about how God can even redeem our tears. I hope you enjoy it. If you can relate, leave a comment, I would like to hear your experience of God’s beautiful redemption in your life.
A past filled with broken dreams
Hidden behind a mask of lies
A girl so naïve she thought she was loved
Her only tears filled with fear
By the grace of God she escaped his grasp
With a jaded view and a shattered heart
Her tears redeemed by scars and love
You may see her cry but she’s not sad
If she could save her tears and bottle them up
Dose by dose she would prescribe them to the world
Some
people like the idea of being a runner but lack the motivation and
discipline it takes to be consistent and overcome the hard parts. They’ll never
achieve success to experience a runner’s high that will keep them motivated. If
we aren’t consistent, we can continue to circle in the beginning stages of
difficulty.
It’s
the same for those of us who like the idea of having a closer relationship with
Christ and lack the discipline it takes to overcome our old ways and never
experience the Spiritual highs of a true relationship with Christ. We keep
circling in the dark, making the same mistakes over and over.
Where
does the cycle break? Picture an infinity circle with the right side being
black, or the dark side and the left being white, or the light. Christ is at the
center. For years, I circled on the right side, making the same mistakes as I
slept walk in the dark until one day when I came to yet another crossroads in
my life (the middle where decisions are made) I finally broke through and made
a different choice. I had to come through Christ to get to the light and make
better choices for a better life.
We can’t keep beating our drums to the
rhythm of the world and expect a new song to form in our hearts.
There
must be a change, a new direction, , along with motivation and discipline to
learn a new way with Christ and stay in the light. Sadly, most people don’t
figure out how to do that most of their lives if they do at all or they are too
stubborn and want to hold on to their old ways, not willing to make the
necessary changes. I know because I was one of them.
Each
day brings a clean slate with new mercies and a new choice. We can learn from
our past mistakes, make better choices instead of staying in the same patterns
and allow God to recycle our pain and use it for His glory.
Are
you ready to make a change and take a step closer to Christ? How would you feel
if your life never changed after today? All of us can learn something from yesterday
and use it to be a better person today, but we must also let go of who we were
yesterday, accept the forgiveness Christ is offering and make better choices
based on His truth for us. Making the time, putting in the work for Christ is
worth it. You are worth it.
I
thought today was an appropriate time to pull out a message about spiders…I
hope you enjoy it.
Another
misunderstood creature, the spider. There are very few of us who like spiders
and don’t try to kill them or destroy their beautiful masterpiece almost
immediately upon creation. Either by accidently running into one or purposely
knocking it down. I am guilty of it as well. But I do love to watch them in
action and see the design and details they put into their work. Unless the
fresh, fallen dew has highlighted the work that went into a new web, on an
early crisp fall morning, we don’t usually see them until it is too late. There
is nothing like a face full of web to start your day.
But
seriously, a spider has everything inside it to survive every day and provide
for all its needs. The silk used to make the web has many uses. God designed
it, kind of like a swiss army knife, not only for survival but everyday life.
Did
you know a spider’s web reflects ultraviolet light? Some scientists believe
they use this mechanism to lure other prey into the web because insects like to
fly towards light. But they also use the silk to catch their prey. Since most
web-weaving spiders have poor eyesight, they are equipped instead with a sense
for movements and can detect vibrations on the web. (Hence the term, Spidey
senses.) This allows them to sense movements as small as the width of a human
hair.
The
intricate details of its design not only look like a form of art but also serve
a purpose that the spider uses naturally. But it comes at a cost. Silk
production is made from protein molecules that take a lot of energy from the
spider. (I will think about that before destroying one so quickly next time.)
There
are many speculations from arachnologists who wonder why a spider uses so much
of its energy to make such a design. Some theories include stability,
visibility, camouflage, prey attraction, mate attraction and even to expend
excess silk. Even if the experts can’t
figure out this mystery, God designed spider silk to be one of the best
building materials that is both strong and elastic. It can withstand a lot of strain before
breaking, it conducts heat and has antibiotic properties.
Spider
silk is also made from protein, produced by a gland in the spider’s abdomen.
The gland can store silk protein in liquid form. When it needs silk, the
liquefied protein passes through a canal where it gets an acid bath. As the PH
of the silk protein is lowered it changes structure. The pulling motion from
the spinnerets puts tension on the substance to help it harden in a solid as it
emerges.
The
firmer protein crystals give silk its strength while the softer protein
provides elasticity. Spiders are great recyclers by eating their webs in many
instances. They also use their sulk to travel, to keep from falling, to find
its way back home, as a shelter, to mate, and protect their offspring.
God
also puts His Spirit inside us and gives us gifts we can use in our everyday
life that reflect His light. We have everything we need inside us for our
everyday living. But most of us only use it or call on it when we are in
survival mode. God designed us to call on Him for our every day, walking around
life, to allow the Spirit to think, live and love through us, like we were
designed.
How
are we using the gifts and talents He placed inside us? Are we building
masterpieces and creating beautiful ways to reflect His light? Are we calling
on Him in our everyday life or winging it and missing the beauty of His design?
We
can weave some fantastic webs in our lives, but do they serve us well or trap
us? If we believe the lies of the enemy, we can get ourselves caught up in a
sticky web of deceit and start to believe what he says about us. But God speaks
truth- only God can define us and He helps us escape the enemy that wants to
hold us back.
As I was preparing to write this message, I saw a spider in my bathroom, and I heard this message: “You have everything inside you to carry out your purpose in this life. I have equipped you for this moment.” It also coincided with the day I signed the agreement to publish my books: Beyond Yourself, A Spiritual Awakening and Quiet Moments, Mornings with the Holy Spirit.
Enjoy life, accept your lot in
life, this is indeed a gift from God.
Eccl. 5:18-20
Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in you alone. Psalm 31:4
Looking
at my phone to determine the weather isn’t always accurate. I realized this
recently when I checked my phone and saw that it said it was 57 degrees only to
find a different story when I headed out the door to a chilly 30 something.
On
another day, it was not supposed to rain, at all, according to my phone. But
when I got outside, the pavement was wet, and a drizzling mist was falling from
the sky. This didn’t deter me from running but I thought in that moment that we
can’t always predict what the weather will be until we are in it. We can be
prepared for it and head back in to change or add layers as needed when
presented with the day. In other words, we can take the appropriate action
based on the situation as it is presented.
I
believe the same goes for taking each day as it comes to us and knowing God
will equip us with what we need to handle any situation that arises. If we are
listening, and ready to respond with courage, trusting and being obedient, we
don’t have to worry about being where God wants us. He will lead us to the
mission He has for us when His timing is right.
We
sometimes want to rush the process or go out on our own to figure out how to
get the end results we want now instead of waiting. But we can trust God and
know that waiting on Him is part of the plan most of the time and His timing is
perfect. He may still be preparing part of the mission or people we will need
to help us on our journey.
We
just need to be prepared and ready to move when He presents us with the
opportunity, without fear of missing it. We can rest assured He is always
working and is preparing the way before us.
We
can be prepared by having faith in the One who created us and chose us for the
mission. Sometimes our days don’t go as planned but we can trust in God’s plan
and enjoy the journey. Every day is an adventure when we are open to His opportunities.
Sometimes we just need a new perspective instead of getting upset about the
changes each day brings.
…morning
by morning He awakens me and opens my understanding to His will. Isaiah 50:4
Now
that it is getting colder again, I had to remind myself how many layers I
really need as I head out the door for an early morning run.
The
first cold snap and I put on way too many. I overdressed due to the initial
shock of the temperatures as I had been accustomed to the warmer mornings. But
from experience I knew I would warm up quickly when I got moving and be too
hot. I allowed my feelings in the moment decide for me and influence my
decision instead of going off experience and knowledge of the truth.
That
is so easy to do in other situations of our lives as well. We take how we are
feeling the moment and make a rash decision rather than looking into our past
experiences to pull out a well-thought out decision.
We
sometimes block out all awareness of Christ and go through life to the beat of
our own song. That is when we miss a lot of blessings. Bitterness destroys
lives, marriages and relationships.
Regret
and resentment from bad choices can weigh on us and we start to allow it to
define us and our self-worth takes a nose dive off the deep end. We sink like a
rock. That’s where Jesus comes in and throws us a life-line.
I
am learning to hit pause on my decision making until I have consulted God. I
have found Him to be a helpful and necessary consultant. This practice has
saved me from many bad decisions or ones that are made from feelings, in the
moment, rather than being based on His truth and knowledge from lessons
learned. If we look to Him before charging out on our own it can save us from
some major catastrophes in our life.
Leaning
to hit pause before I speak is also something I have had to learn over time. It
has kept me from blurting out something I would regret later. A simple, silent
prayer or whisper, “Help me Holy Spirit” helps me hold my tongue in certain
situations and respond appropriately.
There
are still times that I mess up, make mistakes and don’t know how to be honest
and direct in my communications. Usually because I don’t want to hurt someone’s
feelings. God is still working on me. He gives me insight on how to respond the
next time and courage to be honest and properly communicate what I mean.
Honesty
is always the best policy. That doesn’t mean I have to be mean or rude. It
simply means I can say what I mean in a kind, gentle way. I need to be direct
in my communications, so others are clear about my stance. Not being clear has
gotten me in trouble in the past. Not being able to say no is something I dealt
with that I don’t want to continue. Being firm is sometimes necessary in
certain situations. Boundaries are healthy and necessary.
Decisions
themselves have always been a struggle in my life. It was always easier to just
allow others to make them for me and not stand up for myself. (This is how I
became a co-dependent, people-pleaser) I grew up in a family that didn’t
communicate what they were really thinking. Trying to decide where to eat became a major
decision every time and resulted in us not being able to make any of the
important decisions in our lives. That carried over into adulthood for most of
my life. But God, is showing me how to make healthy choices and decisions that
have changed my life and ultimately lead me to Christ.
He
saved me from my bad choices and tells me that is not who I am. When our
self-worth is found in Christ alone we can get our head out of the water and
see the light again.
The
only one I need to please is God. That makes all my decisions clearer by asking
what God wants for me, based on His truth and the knowledge He gives me.
“Trust the Lord with all your heart, do not
depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show
you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.” Proverbs
3:5-7
An honest answer
is like a kiss of friendship. Proverbs 24:26
Early
in the mornings as most of you know I can be found circling my block. Running
is my jam. It gives me the energy to get through my day and I use the time to
pray, process and be thankful.
Sometimes
I see a family waiting for the wheels bus to pick up a couple of people, on the
other side of the block. One of which is in a wheelchair. I think she is new to
the household as I don’t remember seeing her until recently. My neighbor is a
caregiver for the mentally challenged. What a sweet blessing.
This
girl was very friendly and speaks to me each time I pass by. The first couple
of times were a simple, “Hi.” The third
time was, “Hi again!” Always in high spirits. This particular morning the bus
must have been running late as she was still there on my fourth round, when I
heard, “I love you!”
Wow,
how sweet is that?! She barely knows me, yet she loves me. Isn’t this how we
are all supposed to be? I believe that is what God meant when he instructed us
to love our neighbor. We should all be so kind with unconditional love of our neighbor.
Even when we don’t know them. (And sometimes even more if we do.)
God
knows everything about us, yet He loves us anyway. What a miraculous blessing
to have a good Father who sees us through the lens of love with unmeasurable
grace. Let’s share that kind of love and grace with others, especially our
neighbors.
On
one of my morning runs, I saw a black and white cat run across in front of me, not
just once but twice. Most of its body was black but it’s head and neck were
white. It made me think about how we look at things as black and white or gray
when we are somewhere in the middle.
I
used to be all on the black side before I surrendered to Christ. When I began my
journey, it didn’t happen overnight the day I was baptized. The bible says come
as you are not wait until you are completely clean.
I
then started thinking about pivotal moments in history when there were bad or
good things that happened in the world. We all know exactly where we were when
we heard the news about 9-11 for instance. I have also had pivotal moments
throughout my journey to Christ that I can remember exactly where I was and
about what date it happened. If I don’t remember the date I can look back in my
journals and usually find it.
These
are considered “Kairos” moments; (a propitious moment for decision or action.)
Once you decide to be a Christ follower you eventually go ‘all in’- you can’t
be both black and white or darkness and light. Most of us probably stay
somewhere in the middle most of our lives. I started thinking about when I went
all in and how long it took from the time, I had my accident and was baptized.
I pinpointed several pivotal moments that I can look back on and know that God
was shaping my character during those times to get me another step closer to a
Christ centered life. I couldn’t see it at the time but can now look back and
recognize how the important decisions I was making were better for my new life
and direction.
I
had just come out of an abusive relationship where I felt ashamed, unworthy of real
love and blamed myself for the things that happened to me. It was during this
timeframe of the breakup that I had my accident. The accident changed my life,
but it wasn’t at that exact moment that I went all in with Christ. That was
just the beginning.
I
was still dating and made bad choices for myself. But God began to work on my
heart and for the first time I realized that I didn’t have to allow a man to
disrespect my body just because that is what he wants. I have a choice. I have
a voice. I learned how to use it and stand up for myself. This Kairos moment
was just after my accident. This was only one stop on my road map to Christ,
but it was a very important one. I could have allowed this person to have his
way that day, like I had done so many times before with other men. But this
time was different. This time, a voice inside me told me I didn’t have to allow
this.
Another
important moment came the following year when I was dating again, this time to
a very nice person, but I knew I had to end it because I still wasn’t entirely
living for Christ. After a getaway weekend, I felt so convicted that I had to
end the relationship as soon as we got back. I couldn’t hide it or hold off any
longer. He could see it all over my face. I couldn’t hide it because God was in
my decision. I broke it off and moved another step closer to Christ.
Recently,
I was reminded of my accident and the events that happened that day. I saw each
step of that day moment by moment. I saw the changes I began making in my life
afterwards, but my lifestyle and focus on my relationship with God took time.
352 days came to mind. There were still a couple of bumps in the road, but He
led me to where I am today.
I
calculated the days to see what date that would be and then I searched all my
journals until I found it. Here is what I wrote in my journal 352 days from my
accident:
“A
person should never put themselves in a position that they would do anything
for another person when it conflicts with their morals and/or jeopardizes their
character. This type of relationship should only be with God. A person should
not put another person in that position or make it a condition of their
relationship or love for that person on those conditions.”
It
was very shortly after this that I stopped dating altogether and put all my
focus on my new relationship with God. I knew that is where my focus needed to
be, without distractions. This was my choice and five years later I am still
very happy about it. It gave me time that I needed to grow in Christ and figure
out who I was as a person and child of God.
I
am now reliant only on God. He is the only one I need to please. The things in
my life that I clung to the tightest are the very things I had to let go of.
The things I hid from for so long are the things that are being revealed and
bring me most joy because it will help others. He created me and saved me for
this purpose. I am chosen by God to carry out the mission He has planned for
me.
He
has a blueprint for my life that is unique as I am. He connects the dots on my
journey and directs my path on the road map to a Christ centered life that
brings joy and peace even through the speedbumps that occur along the way.
These just make me stronger and through endurance my faith grows.
Can
you look back and see any Kairos moments in your life that shaped your
character and brought you another step closer to Christ? Write them down. Pay attention
daily for any new opportunities. God can use everything for His good.
Dear brothers and sisters, when
troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to
grow. James 1:2-3
Faith Walk Ministries, Inc. 