Tag: #fear

Why I Misspelled the Word

by Angela K. Crow-Mitchell

Fear is crippling. It holds us back from our true potential. But it is the step of faith that makes all the difference. When we trust in God and take the next step—even when we are terrified—that is faith in action.

I can remember so many times in my life when I let fear keep me from following through. From the time I could talk, I was extremely shy. I used to whisper things to my mom in front of my siblings, something that made my oldest brother furious.

That deep-seated fear followed me into school. In the fourth grade, our class held a spelling bee. One other person and I were the last two standing. I was doing great until the teacher announced that whoever won would go on to compete in front of the whole school.

I couldn’t tell you what my next word was, or how easy it was to spell. All I know is that I misspelled it on purpose. I did not want to be in front of the whole school.

Another example I’m not proud of happened in middle school. I joined a group of classmates for a play we practiced for weeks. Then, fear crept in again when I realized we were supposed to perform at the high school talent show in front of parents, students, and staff. You already know what happened. I backed out. My parents still took me to the show, and my classmates who had worked so hard were not happy with me.

There are more examples—too many, in fact.

An Unexpected Calling

Yet, years later, God has had me speak to women’s groups and share my story. He certainly has a sense of humor, doesn’t He? It is entirely by His strength, not mine. I believe wholeheartedly that God wants us dependent on Him. That dependence is the only way I got through it, because the fear didn’t magically disappear; I just had to trust Him through it.

Even in my positions today—as a leader of a women’s support group, on the prayer team at church, and in the leadership of a business I share with my husband—God shows up every day to help me.

Still, I recently realized that I have been limiting my abilities by trying to control them. Perhaps I allowed the fear of the unknown to take precedence over trusting God to lead me. Instead of accepting His calling with the knowledge that He will help me wherever He takes me, the little girl in me wanted to back away.

The Lesson of the Hawk

Through my relationship with God over the last few years, there have been several occasions when I believe He has shown me—sometimes by way of a hawk—that I am to take on the cloak of leadership.

When I first saw a hawk flying overhead, I was reminded that leadership is a gift from God that I need to accept. (As a disclaimer, I do not put my faith in the creature itself, but I do believe God can bring us messages through His creation, whether in waking life or in dreams. Spiritual discernment and biblical truth always come first.)

The other night, I dreamed I was in bed when a hawk came to me. Each time I reached out to push it back, it bit my hand, forcing me to let go. When I woke up and began praying for the lesson in this dream, I was reminded of my experience with the Holy Spirit when I fully surrendered control of my life for the first time—the weight lifted immediately.

I was not meant to carry the gift of leadership as a heavy burden, but rather as a surrendered faith in God. He gave it to me. He will show me the path to take, and He will help me with every single step. God was showing me that I need to stop pushing it away. I need to let go and trust Him with it.

Choosing Freedom Over Perfection

I am choosing to embrace the gift I have been given and enjoy it in freedom. I am stopping the pressure I put on myself to perform or be perfect. No more putting limits on myself either. I am letting God have it.

I was limiting my gift by a lack of confidence and fear—no more. I fully surrender it to God and thank Jesus for my freedom. I don’t need self-confidence when I have God-confidence.

Jesus said:

“My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:30 (ESV)

Whenever we feel the heavy weight of a calling, we can release it to God, knowing He carries our burdens. Anything that feels heavy and suffocating is not from Him. Fear and doubt come from the enemy, who wants to keep us from God’s Word and make us believe we are not enough or that God’s grace is not enough.

One thing will not change—I will praise God through it all. Even if things do not go as I planned or thought they should—His will be done, and I will praise Him through it.

God Said…

by Angela K. Crow-Mitchell

“God said, ‘Let there be light”’” (Gen. 1:3, ESV, emphasis added). Notice what it doesn’t say. It doesn’t say, Angela said. It doesn’t say, _______________ fill in the blank with anyone’s name. The emphasis here is on God. He is in control and is all-powerful, speaking light and life into existence.

God gets the glory.

No amount of darkness can penetrate God’s light. When we are in a dark season, it only takes a whisper to redirect our thoughts—saying Jesus’ name—and staying in communion with God helps shine the light of His love into our hearts. It has been said, and I have experienced it — that praise and anxiety cannot coexist. It changes my outlook when I remember to be thankful for all the gifts God has given me and focus on the positives instead of the negatives in any situation.

The great I AM is with us (Exodus 3:14). No amount of worry will change anything. I pray not to waste any more time and energy on worry and instead to give all my energy to trust the One who spoke the light into existence and conquered the dark. Although this takes intentionality and focus, it is worth it.

Isaiah provides an excellent image for us to cling to when we are afraid or anxious. It is a promise that comes straight from God and has helped me many times.

“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you’” (Isa. 41:13, emphasis added).

Sometimes, I must grip my hand tight, close my eyes, and remember that God is with me.

In 2 Cor. 4:6, Paul uses the provision of light from Gen. 1:3 to depict conversion as the dawning of the new creation amid this fallen world. To know Christ’s glory is to encounter God’s life-transforming glory (ESV Study Bible).

We are all broken. Life gets messy and challenging; those trials sometimes come with doubt, fear, and anxiety, and the enemy loves to keep us in those places.

But God…

Our pastor reminded us last Sunday that God brings beauty out of brokenness. The Jesus Calling devotional on Tuesday reminded me that God doesn’t look at a person’s outside; He looks at the heart (I Samuel 16:7). Nothing we do or don’t do can separate us from His presence (Rom. 8:38-39).

We must take every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and whisper thank you, Jesus, when they creep up on us. God does not separate Himself from us—ever. We tend to drift away from Him and then wonder why we feel distant.

Let’s show ourselves and others grace—we are all a work in progress in a broken world, and the devil is a liar. Write that on your mirror.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8, emphasis added).