Fear is crippling. It holds us back from our true potential. But it is the step of faith that makes all the difference. When we trust in God and take the next step—even when we are terrified—that is faith in action.
I can remember so many times in my life when I let fear keep me from following through. From the time I could talk, I was extremely shy. I used to whisper things to my mom in front of my siblings, something that made my oldest brother furious.
That deep-seated fear followed me into school. In the fourth grade, our class held a spelling bee. One other person and I were the last two standing. I was doing great until the teacher announced that whoever won would go on to compete in front of the whole school.
I couldn’t tell you what my next word was, or how easy it was to spell. All I know is that I misspelled it on purpose. I did not want to be in front of the whole school.
Another example I’m not proud of happened in middle school. I joined a group of classmates for a play we practiced for weeks. Then, fear crept in again when I realized we were supposed to perform at the high school talent show in front of parents, students, and staff. You already know what happened. I backed out. My parents still took me to the show, and my classmates who had worked so hard were not happy with me.
There are more examples—too many, in fact.
An Unexpected Calling
Yet, years later, God has had me speak to women’s groups and share my story. He certainly has a sense of humor, doesn’t He? It is entirely by His strength, not mine. I believe wholeheartedly that God wants us dependent on Him. That dependence is the only way I got through it, because the fear didn’t magically disappear; I just had to trust Him through it.
Even in my positions today—as a leader of a women’s support group, on the prayer team at church, and in the leadership of a business I share with my husband—God shows up every day to help me.
Still, I recently realized that I have been limiting my abilities by trying to control them. Perhaps I allowed the fear of the unknown to take precedence over trusting God to lead me. Instead of accepting His calling with the knowledge that He will help me wherever He takes me, the little girl in me wanted to back away.
The Lesson of the Hawk
Through my relationship with God over the last few years, there have been several occasions when I believe He has shown me—sometimes by way of a hawk—that I am to take on the cloak of leadership.
When I first saw a hawk flying overhead, I was reminded that leadership is a gift from God that I need to accept. (As a disclaimer, I do not put my faith in the creature itself, but I do believe God can bring us messages through His creation, whether in waking life or in dreams. Spiritual discernment and biblical truth always come first.)
The other night, I dreamed I was in bed when a hawk came to me. Each time I reached out to push it back, it bit my hand, forcing me to let go. When I woke up and began praying for the lesson in this dream, I was reminded of my experience with the Holy Spirit when I fully surrendered control of my life for the first time—the weight lifted immediately.
I was not meant to carry the gift of leadership as a heavy burden, but rather as a surrendered faith in God. He gave it to me. He will show me the path to take, and He will help me with every single step. God was showing me that I need to stop pushing it away. I need to let go and trust Him with it.
Choosing Freedom Over Perfection
I am choosing to embrace the gift I have been given and enjoy it in freedom. I am stopping the pressure I put on myself to perform or be perfect. No more putting limits on myself either. I am letting God have it.
I was limiting my gift by a lack of confidence and fear—no more. I fully surrender it to God and thank Jesus for my freedom. I don’t need self-confidence when I have God-confidence.
Jesus said:
“My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:30 (ESV)
Whenever we feel the heavy weight of a calling, we can release it to God, knowing He carries our burdens. Anything that feels heavy and suffocating is not from Him. Fear and doubt come from the enemy, who wants to keep us from God’s Word and make us believe we are not enough or that God’s grace is not enough.
One thing will not change—I will praise God through it all. Even if things do not go as I planned or thought they should—His will be done, and I will praise Him through it.
Faith Walk Ministries, Inc. 