God has moved some amazing mountains in my life since my accident. Truth be told He probably moved a lot before that, but I wasn’t paying attention. There were so many trials to face during the aftermath of the accident. I was in pain. I was hanging out with strangers and had to rely on them for all my daily needs. I had to fly home in a back brace and large cast with a wheelchair at every stop, depending on others to get me to the gates on a red eye flight.
How was I going to maneuver my bags, seat, time limits? I wasn’t. But God provided all these things every step of the way. He moved mountains to get me taken care of and safely back home. I had an overwhelming sense of peace, especially in the airport, where normally I would be panicked and nervous. Yet, I had no worry or fear whatsoever. It was literally out of my hands.
Oddly enough I can look back at the accident and realize that was the one mountain He didn’t move. Why? I believe it was the one I had to hit to realize I wasn’t in control. It is the one that jolted me awake out of my self-induced stupor. The one that made me pay attention to what God is doing in my life. The one that saved my life by the grace of God who created it. He gives me my very breath and could have easily allowed it to be taken away- but He chose to save me.
It is by His divine glory and grace that I am even here to write this today. He saved me not only from this wreck, but from myself and the train wreck I had become. My life was in complete and utter shambles – I was holding on to things I needed to let go of. Like an abusive relationship- who does that?! Me…that is who. At least the person I was before God intervened. I was gripping it with both hands. I had two broken arms in one year because I had to let go.
I didn’t have the audacity or gumption to stand up for myself in any situation. All my life I gave myself over to others- especially men who used me and threw me away without regard to my safety or well-being, without respect for my body. Why should they respect it? I certainly wasn’t. In order words, I had no backbone, therefore my back was broken in the accident on the mountain that day so I could learn to stand firm and take up for myself and others.
This may seem like a harsh statement- but it is my reality. I have come to terms with the lengths God went to bring me home to Christ and be the person He created me to be. I am grateful and stand in amazement (from my knees) every single day that He chose me- of all people, in all my brokenness and unworthiness, to live the life of the new person with a new purpose for my life. He gives me faith and courage to take the next step every day.
“You had to be there to accomplish my will for you in your life and show you another way; a new perspective. It seems drastic, but that’s the only way you were going to change your mind and your heart.”
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