Since I had plenty of time on my hands with the lengthy layovers and flight delays I’ve spent a lot of time reading. I met a girl at a writing conference recently who had also just published a book about her life story- also full of tragedy, loss and broken bones. We exchanged books and hugs. Her story also included an abusive relationship, but a different kind of abuse than my own. She was duped into a marriage full of lies by a cocaine addict and didn’t have a clue until the ink had dried on the marriage certificate.
Her dreams of becoming a mom were dashed not only from a broken pelvis, not once but twice, but also from a lying, drug addicted man whom the foster care dept. saw to be an unfit home for an adopted child.
Her prayers for a child were not answered.
I can look back at my own story and see places where I was heartbroken over things not going my way. Things God knew were not good for me. Like an abusive relationship that I clung to with everything I had in me.
In hindsight, God’s unanswered prayers and divine intervention saved my life many times over and changed it for the better. I think in her story God knew it was best not to place a child in that situation.
God always knows best. He always wants better lives for us that we sometimes want for ourselves, simply because we can’t see the big picture when we are in the middle of the trenches just trying to survive.
If we can learn to trust Him with the outcome even when we think we want a different one than what He is offering, we could just enjoy the journey knowing God’s got this. Just because I can’t see the bigger picture – I know God can and I can have faith that He is preparing the way before me. I just need to listen and respond with courage, trust and obey.
I have learned in my own life I need not fear the path He leads me to and am still learning to push through the fear and nerves and the not known variables to just do the next thing- the one He is leading me to- not of my own understanding or courage; but through the strength, discernment and faith He gives me to be confident. Not in myself but in what He is doing in and through me. The past things I entrusted to men proved to be the things I should have feared most, not the things God is offering. God is a good, good Father we can trust with our lives and our dreams.
“See, God has come to save me. I will trust Him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song, He has given me victory.” Isaiah 12:2