The Little Girl – Throwback Thursday

Some of you may remember this story from a few years ago… but it seemed like a good time to bring it back. (She looks like she has it all together in this photo – I believe this dog’s name was Mandy if I’m not mistaken; we had two at the time, the other was Candy, so I may have them mixed up.)

Before I became a Christ-follower, I didn’t know what it meant to put God first instead of myself or others in my life. I wasn’t in a great place, although I hid it well. It makes me realize that we never know what someone else is going through and the battles they are fighting internally.

One night, during a particularly dark time in my life, I dreamed I was driving down the road where I grew up. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw a little girl sitting in the backseat. She stuck her tongue out at me right as we locked eyes. That little girl was me. She didn’t like me very much.

After becoming a Christ-follower, I sat in prayer and quiet time with the Holy Spirit and was reminded of that dream.  As quickly as that scene appeared, I was whisked away to one of my fondest childhood memories. Swinging on the front porch with my mom on a summer night, singing I See the Moon and the Moon Sees Me.

The next thought was a question: “What would you tell her?”

My first reaction was to tell her, “Don’t do it!”

But just as I finished contemplating those words, another thought crossed my mind. If I hadn’t gone through those tough life experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today; at least, I wouldn’t appreciate what Christ did for me as much as I do now. Being in the valley for so long made me value the mountaintop much more. I use those experiences to share my story and help others in similar circumstances. God recycles our pain in the most magnificent ways.

So, I told her this, “You will make mistakes, there will be heartache and pain, but you will persevere. YOU WILL PERSEVERE!”

I heard a whisper in my heart, “She likes you now. She is proud of who you have become.”

What a lovely and heartfelt message from my Heavenly Father. I try to be mindful of thanking God every day for saving my life, rescuing me from an abusive relationship, and, most importantly, transforming my character.

Recently, I dreamt of being back at my childhood home, in the kitchen, dancing with a baby. That dream reignited this story, causing me to reflect on how far I’ve come and the joy that fills my heart. This joy makes me want to dance and celebrate the milestones that come from my relationship with Christ. Maybe that baby was me, too– either way, I woke up smiling and knew I had to post this message again for someone who needs to hear it.

Our past does not define us. Our identity is only found in Christ.

Even then, I was a daughter of the King and valuable in God’s eyes. It took a powerful wake-up call to make me see where my worth truly comes from. Only God. There is hope – His name is Jesus Christ.

P.S. I would also tell my former self that the devil is a liar (John 8:44); you do have a better choice, and you can have a relationship with God.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Rom. 15:13, ESV, Emphasis added).

“We have this [hope] as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into he inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf” (Heb. 6:19, emphasis added)

The Cycle

Some people like the idea of being a runner but lack the motivation and discipline it takes to be consistent and overcome the hard parts. They’ll never achieve success to experience a runner’s high that will keep them motivated. If we aren’t consistent, we can continue to circle in the beginning stages of difficulty.

It’s the same for those of us who like the idea of having a closer relationship with Christ and lack the discipline it takes to overcome our old ways and never experience the Spiritual highs of a true relationship with Christ. We keep circling in the dark, making the same mistakes over and over.

Where does the cycle break? Picture an infinity circle with the right side being black, or the dark side and the left being white, or the light. Christ is at the center. For years, I circled on the right side, making the same mistakes as I slept walk in the dark until one day when I came to yet another crossroads in my life (the middle where decisions are made) I finally broke through and made a different choice. I had to come through Christ to get to the light and make better choices for a better life.

We can’t keep beating our drums to the rhythm of the world and expect a new song to form in our hearts.

There must be a change, a new direction, , along with motivation and discipline to learn a new way with Christ and stay in the light. Sadly, most people don’t figure out how to do that most of their lives if they do at all or they are too stubborn and want to hold on to their old ways, not willing to make the necessary changes. I know because I was one of them.

Each day brings a clean slate with new mercies and a new choice. We can learn from our past mistakes, make better choices instead of staying in the same patterns and allow God to recycle our pain and use it for His glory.

Are you ready to make a change and take a step closer to Christ? How would you feel if your life never changed after today? All of us can learn something from yesterday and use it to be a better person today, but we must also let go of who we were yesterday, accept the forgiveness Christ is offering and make better choices based on His truth for us. Making the time, putting in the work for Christ is worth it. You are worth it.

Not sure where to start? Contact me for more information or visit www.faith-walk-ministries.org for free resources.

www.angelakcrow.com