Peter was among Jesus’s closest friends and disciples. He believed he would remain loyal to Jesus until the very end, even to the point of death. However, when the moment came, he failed badly. Jesus warned him, saying he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed twice (Mark 14:30, ESV).
Peter thought he would never reject Jesus – yet in the moment, that is exactly what he did.
“And immediately, the rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, ‘Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.’ And he broke down and wept” (Mark 14:72), realizing he’d done exactly as Jesus predicted. In the heat of the moment, he caved and did the opposite of what he’d sworn.
Can you relate to doing the very thing you never thought you would do?
Similarly, I swore I’d never go down the path I ended up taking—a path that led to utter darkness, a miserable existence marked by anxiety, secrets, and half-truths, which are lies.
As a child, I remember dreading a certain year in my future. I didn’t know why or what might happen. Still, I figured out how old I would be and spent many hours thinking about, even worrying, what ominous, life-changing event might occur. Ironically, as an adult, I got caught up in life and mostly forgot about it, especially as the year approached.
Amid my self-absorption and everything I was going through at the time, I couldn’t see the light from my spot in the weeds. I forgot how to look up and found myself on the edge of the year I dreaded, not recognizing the dangerous situation I had put myself in. A major, evil event changed the course of my life and caused me to spiral. The devil in my ear, twisting my thoughts and decisions, with a fear that overwhelmed me a hundred times over. I wouldn’t speak of it to anyone for years, letting it fester, define me, and steal my peace.
Doing the very things I vowed I would never do led me down a path I never imagined for myself. It involved abandoning everything I stood for, just like Peter did.
However, my realization didn’t come right away. I didn’t have a rooster crowing to remind me of a Savior who loved me, even at my lowest. I spent years in a daze, drifting further from God into darkness, eventually ending up in the worst of all my abusive relationships and losing my identity and self-worth along the way.
The conscious choice to take the dark path—though I couldn’t see it then—was made on New Year’s Eve, entering the very year I feared. The events leading up to it happened earlier, but I was at a crossroads in my life at that moment and chose the wrong path, a decision I would have to live with for the rest of my life. I had walked away from the Master Builder and tried to renovate my own life using lies and secrets as materials. The result was a condemned soul, a heart that felt beyond repair, past its expiration date.
But God rescued me…
I had no concept of the Kairos moment until years later, when God used an accident to wake me up. That was when I began my journey to healing through Jesus Christ. Another crossroads appeared, and this time I chose God. He redeemed all the lost years, restored my identity in Christ, renewed my self-worth, and revealed a different option I hadn’t known existed until I started attending Southland Christian Church and began my journey as a Christ-follower.
Spending time in God’s Word helped me understand the truth and reality of a relationship with God that once seemed daunting. This gave me the confidence to say no, which ultimately transformed me and improved my character.
It didn’t happen overnight, but as I earnestly and diligently took steps toward God, He revealed to me not only who He created me to be but also how He can use my pain and passion to help others, especially women in abusive relationships who need to hear my story.
Unworthy, yet chosen to advance the Kingdom of God, for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). I am a daughter of the King.
I recently saw someone who stirred up old pain, making me cry, not because of the misery I faced before, but because of the joy I now feel in my present and future—something else I never imagined for myself, thanks to the new life God has given me.
A grateful heart knows many joys.
“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” (Ps. 107:1, emphasis added)!
Faith Walk Ministries, Inc. 