Agape is a Greek term for one of the highest forms of love in the Bible. This kind of love is rare and is modeled by Jesus when He died on the cross for us. It is a sacrificial, selfless, and unconditional.
Phileo, also a Greek term, is like brotherly love, but also one that shows strong affection, not expecting anything in return.
We see in John 13: 34-35, Jesus tells his disciples about a new commandment; to love one another as God loved them. In verse 38, He goes on to tell Peter that he will deny Him three times before the rooster crows. Peter is distraught, he insists that this will never happen. Yet, we read that it does.
In John 21:15-17, Jesus gives Peter a second chance. He restores him by asking him three times if he loves Him; the same number of times that Peter denied Jesus, he was given the opportunity to be redeemed to Jesus and respond to Him in love. I heard a minister speak about this once and say that the first two times Jesus asked Peter if he agape Him; and Peter answered both times that he phileo Him. But the third time Jesus met Peter where he was and asked if he phileo Him. Peter answered yes.
As I reflect on this, I believe if Jesus indeed asked Peter the first two times if he agape Him and then the third time if he phileo Him; Possibly Jesus knew He was asking a lot of Peter. This was the man who had just denied even knowing Jesus, when the going got rough. This kind of love, the highest form of love, may have been hard for Peter to claim in his shame and regret. A kind of love only Jesus had shown us; but Jesus kept on asking and changed to the level Peter could relate to so he could accept forgiveness.
For us, the closest we may come to knowing this kind of agape love is for a child. The other night, I dreamed that my son was about three years old and we were in a foreign land. I wanted to go explore and take photos of a beautiful waterfall I could see in the distance, but every time I turned around, he had taken off and I had to go find him. The third time, I was not able to find him anywhere. I was scared that I wouldn’t or that something terrible happened to him. I looked around and saw him coming towards me through a marsh, up to his waist in muck. I ran out to meet him and grabbed him in my arms, whispering in his ear how scared I was, and I asked him to please not run off again.
I see this as how God comes after us when we are lost. We are in a foreign land, but we can see glimpses of the beauty and glory to come. God picks us up out of the muck, comforts us and gently asks us not to leave again, whispers of love. He loves us so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us. The crucifixion and resurrection prove Jesus’ love and the love of the Father. Agape love.
If you have a friend who is kind and loving and you consider to be your best friend, don’t you want to introduce them to everyone you meet? In the same way, I want to introduce my Friend, Jesus to everyone I meet. He rewrote my story. He redeemed all the miserable years and all my tears. I hope to show others who He is by the way I live and conduct myself. I pray to always be humble and kind, with a tender heart. Yes, He is the Leader of the world, Creator of all things, Master of the universe, but also a caring, kind, gentle, friend who wants the best for us, always. He restores and redeems. I know my story isn’t over. God is still writing it. He amazes me every day! I hope to soak it all up and enjoy every moment